First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
She texted me shhh....im drunk, secret booty call...how could i say no?
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
Someone who makes you cum so hard that you have an asthma attack is clearly your soulmate
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
You just sent a mass text asking if anyone ever drank the blood of a goat in the glorious name of Satan...after that we confiscated any writing utensil
Randomize
