If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
i'm watching a show about a girl who died from masterbating with a carrot. A FUCKING CARROT, EMILY! YOU NEED TO BE CAREFUL!
Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
My plan for valentine's day: take a shot for every guy I've slept with. To keep me from going to the hospital I'm only doing half a shot for small dicks
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
There was a guy on the elevator dressed as santa in flip-flops giving away beer.
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
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