He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
Yo I'm texting you while getting a bj. I know, I'm the man. Told her I was texting my mom in the hospital.
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
He woke up & asked where his pants were then asked where he was then asked who I was. Been married 20 yrs. He was drunkest ever.
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
Randomize
