He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
I intend to get homeless drunk
Dude, she told me she wanted to bang my dad. I don't know which is worse, the fact that she wants to or the fact that she told me.
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
Just me. You're probably having sex with her right now, so here's a reminder that you should be thinking of me per our agreement.
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
Part of my tooth flew in my eye when the dentist was drilling my cavity then I was sent to the ER. Fucking never going back
Randomize