i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
apparently "my dealer got arrested" is not an acceptable answer when mom asks "What happened? You look sad today"
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
OH GOD NOT SANTA BABY. NO NO NO. YOU'RE LIKE 85. OMG MULTIPLE WOMEN. NO NO NO STAHP.
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
Literally the only reason we didnt get arrested was because the cop said I reminded him of Steve Stifler from American Pie
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
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