May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
you refused to leave the drive-thru at mcdonalds until the cashier took a jello shot
His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
Uh yeah. I ate a brick of cheese. Didn't even cut it. We were admiring the teeth marks I was leaving. We decided it was the negative of my mouth
She had one of those kid princess beds. I asked how she expected to fuck on that and she just said "thats what the slide is for". I've never wanted to marry a one night stand before.
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
I want a bottle of whiskey to be dropped at my doorstep like a stork drops babies when they are delivered to their parents.
God what have you done to be that much in need of alcohol.
Me WANTS my preciousssssssssss
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
Found an elderly homeless guy with a Gandalf beard passed out on my porch. I put a Santa hat over his erect dick cause he was naked.
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
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