and next time when you feel me up, do it right
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
I knew I wanted to marry her when we got in that bar fight and she full-nelsoned a guy while I worked his kidneys. I knew then we had to breed
Randomize
