Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
Just replaced the batteries in my vibrator without turning on the lights. I need to get laid.
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
An "unreasonable amount of ejaculate" isn't a reason to be angry at me.
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
IT WAS A FUCKING ELEPHANT I SWESR!!!!!
Nathan, I haven't spoken to you in 12 years and it's 6am. Kindly fuck off.
Randomize
