just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
I'm actually kind of scared about the prospect of us living together. We're just going to eat pizza and drink wine before retiring to our rooms with vibrators
Nothing has ever been more true. Ever.
You're the only guy I know who could convince a lady at the pharmacy to trade you her pain pills for your antibiotics.
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
I just don’t understand what sort of USPS worker wants to take my unitard and sex toys.
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
Randomize
