pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
You kept calling me your small dog last night.
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
the clerk said it was the first time she had ever seen someone walk in the next day to return the tux still wearing the tux
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
This is a mass text. Who in the hell shat on my stairs last night?
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
Randomize
