We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
Straightened my pubes. My dick looks like John Lennon fucked Gonzo.
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
My apartment smells like a lavender field inside of a giant bong.
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
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