I wish we could go back in time and find our best farts ever
Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
I don't care that you had sex on my bed. I care that you used my lollipop condom. I was saving that for a special occasion
It was a special occasion. Your best friend had crazy awesome sex on your bed. Thank you
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
I just had a dream that I was fighting Donald Trump... Gotta stop watching the news before bed
Ooooh no. Jesus take the wheel, or Moses. SOMEBODY TAKE THE WHEEL
Randomize
