We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
I knew I had to get an abortion when his toddler sister came up to hug my leg and I kicked her off saying, "Get off, fucker."
He looked me in the chest and said "I think I was visited by the titty fairy last night"
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
You think you're smart. You're pretending to be asleep to save yourself from my hormonal pms mood swings. Unfortunately that only works against bears.
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
Randomize
