It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
Just spit on a sock to clean a spot on my glass table. Oddest combination of so lazy and motivated ever.
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
Randomize
