Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
Why is there a cactus in the microwave?
Don't worry about it.
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
Being hungover in this office is the actual worst. Like they look at me and know I was wasted at 1 am, karaokeing Billy Idol at a gay bar.
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
Getting food poisoning after eating at work was the cherry on top of my "Welcome back to real life" sundae.
My pizza delivery guy was so hot I was like omg please let this be the beginning of a porno
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
Randomize