38 yer olds are good kisserssss
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
let's get her a shirt that says "i went to key west for spring break and all i got was this illegitimate child."
How's work?
Spinning.
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
Ur gonna wake up early as dick tomorrow to do some responsible shit but im the one up at 3 am right now cooking brats soaked in keystone light so fuck your falling asleep ass bitch
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
You told me you would ride a pig into the night sky screaming, "I wear my sunglasses at night"
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
Can we just talk about the fact that the last time I got laid I was wearing a Jurassic Park tshirt?
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
Also, my old intern Lizzie whom you fed pizza to last night wants to hang out with you
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
Randomize
