I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
It was one time. Now I have to constantly remind her my name is Jessica not Jizzica.
I made the bartender pinky promise me there was still vodka in my drinks.
I found a sock full of anal beads in my dryer. At least she washes them.
I woke up to an email from Groupon for 3 laser lipo treatments...on Valentine's Day...way to kick me when I'm down Groupon.
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
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