what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
Broke up w/ my married coworker...work is gonna get weird.
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
I need the number of a restaurant that delivers, has lock-picking abilities, and is okay with full frontal male nudity. Entirely too hungover to get out of bed.
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
I have not brushed my hair. I'm wearing a yoga hoodie. I look like I slept in a gutter somewhere. Today is going to be a good day.
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
Just get over here and light metaphorical fireworks in my literal vagina
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
Randomize