so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
halloween makes it hard to decipher real cops... from sexy men dressed up as them.
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
Woke up with my foot jammed into a VCR
there is nothing like a happy birthday present when you wake up with a bow on your vagina.
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
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