She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
My boyfriend correctly calculated the time I would be out of alcohol and showed up about four minutes after I'd run out with two bottles of wine. I think this is love.
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
Were you drinking last night?
Because typically I don't associate the phrase 'Go sleepy time' with sobriety.
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
It's one PM on a Saturday and I'm sitting here drinking Jack, eating a block of cheese and playing Minecraft. Please tell me you can come drag me to a bar.
I made a White Russian but saw how early it was and decided to substitute it for milk in my lucky charms. This is what it means to be an adult.
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
So, I gotta figure when the nurses at the emergency room noticed my new hair cut it means I'm there too often, right?
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
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