If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
Nope. She just screamed at me "YOU WERE A FAILED ABORTION" and "I'LL PUT ANTHRAX IN YOUR PILLOW YOU LITTLE FUCK". Best mother award ever
I went outside for a smoke at 4 and things seemed normal. It's 6 now and the front lawn is COVERED in tortilla chips. WTF?
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
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