Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
Stolen hampster on my tits. Don't tell me I don't know how to party.
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
No. We can't get pedicures until my toenails grow back.
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
Pretty sure that I just proved those labels that say "non-flammable" wrong. totally unrelated, We just made your futon fly with a shitload of fireworks
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
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