I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
The two girls sitting next to me are asking siri "Like, uh, how do you know my name?". Do I fuck with them or fuck them?
Good morning! Just thought I'd give you my yearly reminder that we lost our virginities 7 years ago, yesterday.
That's the best creepy text ever.
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
If you're gonna show up unannounced on hangover day, you better have coffee doughnuts and a boner
Randomize
