i finished masturbating and realized my blackberry had accidentaly called my grandmother in my pocket during it. awkward...
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
Truelife: I made out with my ex-boyfriend's girlfriend this weekend. Thank you Captain Morgan...
Was she wearing cherry chapstick??
No. Life's not always a fairytale.....
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
You'd think the dry cleaners next door would be less judgmental for as much business as my theme parties bring them.
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
Randomize
