You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
I learned much from the teen babysitter: I can light a cigarette in a microwave.
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
"you can only have my number if you answer all the questions on this trivial pursuit card correctly"
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
I'm sorry I didn't get you anything for your birthday
It's just you didn't get me the fucking bear suit last year
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
I quit doing blow for him. If that doesn’t say “I’m in love with you and want to marry you” idk what does
Randomize