I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
My birth control alarm gets more depressing every night.
Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
Randomize
