IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
I woke up to a quacking alarm clock and a rando in my bed. I told him I liked his cargo shorts. Fireball is not my soulmate anymore.
I made him laugh his dick is mine
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
Decided to stay in tonight. Completely sober. Just got two drunken booty calls within 5 minutes of each other. This is my life.
It's not christmas until we're acting sober in front of grandma
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