shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
She just dipped a dollar bill in her queso dip and almost ate it before I slapped it out of her hand, no more bar crawls..
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
Text me if you also stopped reading harry potter in the 4th grade and wanna go to the bars tonight instead of the midnight premiere
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
Remember that time I sent you a 5lb bag of gummie bears?
Like it was yesterday.
Apparently I had it on auto deliver. So whoever is at your apt is gonna gen an interesting delivery...
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
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