He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
I hope my margaritas pass through security.
It's not my fault. Someone keeps buying me tequila shots. Idk who. But every time I look down there's another. I think there's a conspiracy.
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
I have a feeling she doesn't appreciate me as a person. She only fucks me because I look like Harry Potter.
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud...
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
Currently googling hangover cures, which looks a lot like working from the perspective of my boss.
I FLASHED A GUY AT MCDONALDS FOR A FREE BREAKFAST BURRITO. IT WORKED!
Randomize
