This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
So I was throwing up in this fancy toilet at a party last night, when he decided it would be funny to flush it. It was a beday. I had to walk out with toilet water and regurgitated rumpleminze all over my face and shirt.
I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
i made sure i dropped the whole "im a yoga teacher" bomb which basically roofies a guys sense of judgement and guarantees he will sleep with me.
A DRUNK EMT IS BETTER THAN NO EMT!!!
I've decided I'm peeing in a solo cup then throwing it on his windshield. It's official. He called the cops 4 times in our first week at the house. He deserves it, right?
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
I successfully navigated a full, lengthy interaction with my dad in which he never asked me if I was freshly baked. 10 points.
You licked my eyeball, you are officially cut off. If you just missed you can have a second chance on Friday.
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
Randomize
