she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
Dude, I puked in the stall for God knows how long. Halfway through, a kid sits down in the stall next to me and starts jacking off, i heard the porn on his phone and everything. so FYI, the middle stall is where good nights go to die
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
I just woke and had to fish my phone out of a bowl of chili. I was wrist deep in it. WHO BROUGHT CHILI TO A PARTY?!
its not chili. and you brought it.
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
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