After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
I'm sorry I kept calling last night when you wouldn't pick up. I'm REALLY sorry I sang "You Oughta Know" on more than 4 voice mails.
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
You called your ex's vag an "AIDS Pinata". Drunk You is the Hulk Hogan of insults.
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
I wanna get a tattoo next to my tattoo that says, my ex did this so don't fucking ask
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
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