So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
My roommate just got home. Made an entire package of bacon. Ate it. And then went to bed.
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
If I die, sorry about rent.
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
Masturbating to death wouldn't be a terrible way to go. If you die tonight, I'll know how it went down. Promise not to tell your family.
Randomize
