you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
I fell asleep giving a handjob, had a sex dream about giving a handjob, and woke up giving a handjob. Life.
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
I'm eating a bagel on the toilet and watching porn. Trust me, I've got my priorities straight.
Have you ever wanted to murder the Sun? To bring the life-giving fusion reactor to a bitter end because of the sheer agony it brings to your eyes as it keeps you awake. And for waking the birds. Fuck birds.
Is that strawberry winking at me??
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
Randomize
