it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
i just cleaned out my toilet because i knew that my head would be in it later
did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
the $20 limit for secret santa doesn't apply to me cause you know a half gram of coke is more than $20
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
She just took a mirror selfie at the hospital while in labor.
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
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