so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
Reggie can tackle my bush.
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
You're the only person I know who can be puking into a trash can at 8 in the morning in Manhattan and get a date out of it....
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
Remember how we use to say "this will be the year I'll get my shit together!" And like we stopped doing that because we know that isn't happening anytime soon.
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
The bar brought brought it upon themselves, they played billy joels piano man before closing, it's not our fault the bar isn't a bar anymore, right?
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