is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
one day john is going to snap and they are going to make a new show called "john and chainsaw minus 9"
im having a threesome with these popsicles
Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
Either I'm deep cleaning my apartment out of severe academic procrastination or I'm subconsciously nesting and need to take a pregnancy test.
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
I just gave her a sobriety test in the middle of the baking aisle.
And the results, officer?
She's fucked.
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
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