did you get engaged???
Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
Also, they sell weed-chocolate covered strawberries. For the romantic stoner.
That was one of the best texts I got today
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
The squirrels are partying on my roof again. Now they're just rubbing it in that I'm home alone on a Saturday night and they're having orgies.
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
he high fived his dick after we had sex
Randomize
