As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
Found out it was only pneumonia. We celebrated hydrocodone cough syrup. Two long island ice teas at lunch and the random white powder we found in her purse. Mother of the year award.
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
Its really hard to take a shit when the dog wont stop trying to crawl into your lap
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
Randomize
