You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
Is it bad i hate my job so much I'm actively trying to get fired tonight by drinking all the booze we have so I don't have to show up for my double tomorrow. Four mango vodkas later I have decided I'm a better server drunk.
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
Randomize
