I didn't talk to you tonight because I've decided you look like a man.
tonight would not even compare to the night i tried to pee in the living room
i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
why did i wake up to an event notice that says "Shit Just Got Real"?
and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
Explain it like you would if you were talking to a 5 yo
Wait no, like you would to a stoned high school freshman.
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
Randomize