the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
Apparently, I woke up in the middle of the night, got up out of bed, dropped trou in the corner, squatted, and pissed on the carpet. When Eric heard, he thought it was the dog and started yelling, and I responded by saying "No no, its okay. It's me."
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
I like that most of our conversations somehow end in us having sex for the good of our country
Just used my cancer results to get a free lap dance. Great day just got better.
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
I found a digiorno pizza in my washing machine.
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
bad sex. bad bad bad. it was like trying to pick up an overcooked noodle with an empty pringles can. why do these guys always seem to find me?
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
Randomize