the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
Dear room mates I tried to shotgun pam in the kitchen. It is slippery. Please be careful. That is all. Love you.
I woke up to him drunk-t-bagging me, saying "huevos rancheros" were being served for breakfast.
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
It’s gonna be hard being interviewed by this girl without remembering the time she showed me her nipple piercings at Dylan’s party
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
Randomize