It's like God knew that was my ex's best friend and punished me. I've never vomited that much in my life.
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
I'm dressed as a caveman and drunk so that's not really an option
Dude, my ex girlfriend showed up, bought me a tequila shot, made out with me and then disappeared into the night. Then her current girlfriend saw, so she came over and slapped me and then I made out with her too
This was before halftime
I RUINED A LESBIAN RELATIONSHIP BEFORE HALFTIME
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
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