Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
And if it ever comes down to tax or healthcare benefits we can get married
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
Do not confuse my plans for being an adult though. I will ABSOLUTELY be practicing suturing, on my porch, while getting stoned.
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
Randomize
