She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
I used an emoji to tell him I was pregnant. I should feel bad about that, right?
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
Randomize
