She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
I could run a drunk marathon in heels
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
I love how encouraging you are, but I need you to stop me when the guy I'm going home with is a dead ringer for Nick Cage.
drunk snapchatting is the worst, because i woke up with great pictures of my tits saved to my memories and no idea who i sent them to
You threw away your W2 to make more room in your purse for liquor.
I had to replace her wine with red vitamin water. So if she’s alive, you can thank me
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
Randomize
