I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
Dude I just heard my boss singing from the bathroom "I love making poop"
At the airport and im So hungover. Think anyone will help if I put a note on me reading "flying to Boston, please wake me as we board" and then passing back out?
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
Well you ended up trying to convince two Greek girls that you were Greek, but failed massively by shouting at them in Spanish, and then almost vomiting after taking way too much snuff. Maybe lay off the guinness next time?
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
You went outside, peed in the front yard, and asked me to bring you some toilet paper.
Randomize
