So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
he kept kneeing me like he was playing footsies... only then i realized it was his dick.
if i died would you start the facebook group?
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
Remember when we used to share painkillers at parties? Now we're dealing in blood pressure pills. Oh, how the mighty have fallen.
Just walked into the bathroom and looked straight ahead and made eye contact with a guy taking a shit through the crack in the stall door...
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
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