epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
i just heard a guy call his kid "Google" in a way that leads me to believe that's his name. this day couldn't get worse.
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
I bought you a small gift as a preemptive apology for being a drunken slut tonight.
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
I woke up on a boat next to an extremely attractive man wearing nothing but a life jacket. Neither one of us owns a boat...
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
What's the point of bringing a Jack and Coke to work if my boss is just gonna piss and moan about me day drinking again?
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
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