like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
He just bought a 100-pack of condoms of Amazon. My vagina is already tired.
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
im hiding in a corner. drunk. with a plate of stolen jello shots. im pretty sure people are looking for me or the jello shots.
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
Hey, Would it be ok if me and your wife have a ladies only night and masturbated on FaceTime together?
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
Randomize
