we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
There is a banner on a house by campus that says "welcome to college dads. Thanks for dropping off your daughters!"
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
That was the night I passed out and someone threw chicken at me. SORRY I wasn't available to cockblock you from that Hispanic dude.
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
Just showered and cleaned every bit of sex off of me cuz i have a feelin my stepmom has jesus powers and would be able to smell it on me
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