IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
I don't think he understands that his kid doesn't bother me. I have a binder full of developmentally appropriate early childhood activities.
Either go for divorced men who are forty plus or stop doing this immediately. You are 23 years old. You need more wine and less baby fever
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
I told him I might be pregnant and he said he'd buy me a test and a twix bar. I'm marrying him. Tomorrow.
Randomize
