when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
How do I explain to work that I woke up in my underwear on a trampoline and that I'm not coming in?
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
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