Michael Bay diarrhea
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
The sales associate looked at me funny for wobbling in the heels i was trying on until i told her i was trying to see how well i'd be able to drunk walk in these tonight
Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
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