Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
Today is going to be the longest game of "was that a fart, or do I need to go wipe?" I have ever played. Maybe the most challenging too.
You tried to impress her by kicking the 5th floor button in the elevator, but you ended up kicking everything from 3 to 11. Then you said, "pretty accurate, huh ladies?"
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
Welcome to the single world where it seems vibrator batteries are in short supply and making a sandwich while naked at 2am is relatively normal
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
Here's the "to do" list i just found on my phone: buy stripper pole, make sex playlist, buy febreeze
Randomize
