I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
I was the king of the handle race. My team finished it in 56 minutes.
you don't get it. Nobody wins a handle race. there just degrees of losing.
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
I don't care how much you're grieving a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
I'll like his pictures on Instagram every once and a while so that when he sees my name he is reminded of the best blow job he's ever gotten.
worse hangover than the time you almost threw up in a plant in front of your daycare kids?
...I don't remember telling you about that but yes
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
Randomize
