Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
Just found out I own a pyramid. Fuck your good grades, I'm living in my pyramid.
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
There now exists video of me holding a (recently emptied) bottle of Russian Standard vodka, trying to sing the Russian national anthem.
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
Maybe i don’t have a tell. Maybe wine is my poker face.
This is the nicest bathroom I've ever been drunk in. The urinal is gold.
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
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