Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
I woke up in a house cuddled up with a beagle on a futon. have no idea who anyone is but they all call me stretch. yeaaahhh boiiiiii
Is a Chipotle burrito an acceptable "sorry I ran over your cat" gift?
there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
forgot a fork. i am eating fettucini alfredo with a comb that i rinsed off the the bathroom sink. eating alone in my car. life doesn't get any sadder than this
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
He told me he was married and then fingered me on the kitchen counter. It was awkward to explaining the broken toaster to my roommates this morning...
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
It's 3 am and I'm buying cat food and batteries for my vibrator. Good thing I shaved my legs for this.
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
Why did I wake up next to the fire pit? And who wrapped me up like a burrito?
Jägerbombs. Thank Sara.
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