Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
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