I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
i literally laid in bad for an hour last night thinking of what i'm going to name my cats when i become a cat lady.
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
So my furniture is upside-down, two lamps are glued to the ceiling, and there is a kitten sleeping on Kyle's face. Please tell me what happened last night....
For some reason, my alarm clock was unplugged & in the kitchen microwave. I don't remember doing that...
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