You're like the curious george of whores
He brought a jar of pickles to the party. So now I've had beer, animal crackers, AND a pickle since noon.
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
I'm currently hiding from this horrific thing that we call adulthood. If anyone needs me, I'll be smoking a bowl in the bouncy house.
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
Randomize
