That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
weddingsv make me drug and hornr
She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
Margaritas ran out of lime juice. Substituted Jaeger. Jaegerita not good.
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
Woke up with a migrane, threw up blood, then my headache went away. I'm going to convince myself that it was just a bad batch of blood so I can drink again tonight
You overflowed the toilet cuz you tried to flush apples. you said they were singing too loudly
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
spending my first valentines day single in 3 years blazed and eating heart shaped brownies i bought myself. WHO NEEDS A MAN.
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
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