i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
Well the pizza delivery man was either startled or incredibly intrigued to see me skateboarding in the living room by myself at 1 in the morning in ripped pantyhose
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
Randomize
