She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
I thought he wouldn't talk to me again. You know, what's that saying "why buy the cow when you can fuck it six hours after meeting"
He will. He has no choice. What's he gonna do? Find a better fuck buddy? We both know that's not possible. I'm the ideal friend with benefit. Minus snoring and uneven tits.
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
I was amazing, unlike anything he's ever experienced. I somehow made him feel young and old.and he never felt old before. He feels I will literally kill him. With my magic, lethal vagina.
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