"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
I'm wearing boardshorts as underwear to work. This is bachelorhood
Being home sucks. I haven't drank in like a week. Or smoked cigs. Or done drugs. Or had sex. My body is shutting down.
Omg. It's like you're one of those deprived kids living in a third world country. We need to save you.
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
Just discovered I was so fucked up last night I called in sick to work... TWICE
Don’t worry I was with my ex husband for 10 years and he could never remember the year I was born, when our dating anniversary was or what year I graduated high school. But I still know that mother fuckers SSN lol
Randomize
