You called me twice to tell me that you spit in your own eye, when I was right next to you.
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
I have just two goals for this NYE. 1) get so drunk that every guy looks like Clive Owen 2) make out with as many Clive's as possible.
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
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