i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
I remember now some guy came over and hit on me and poured peppermint schnapps and chocolate syrup in my mouth. Pretty sure he was dressed like Santa....
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
In other news my cocaine dealer got arrested for heaving some kid out of a fourth story window.
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
Woo is fucking right, dude. Vodka night tonight. Honestly, every night pretty much seeems like vodka night lately. My liver wants to move out of my body like I gave it an eviction notice.
I just got to my parents hungover as hell. My dad could tell and said "theres only one cure for a hangover" and handed me a beer. This morning went from a 0 to 10 in an instant.
Randomize
