i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
I am far too drunk to be making a tuna melt . There's blood EVERYWHERE.
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
My dinner guests were so drunk they never realized that I inadvertantly put Frosted Mini Wheats on the salad instead of crutons.
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
I'm responsible for my client's overall well-being. Which is terrifying coming from someone that can't stop masturbating and eats leftover pizza just about everyday.
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
I woke up this morning to my panties draped around the neck of an empty bottle of bulleit. That is the perfect visual metaphor for my life at this juncture.
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
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