i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
He motorboated me, gave me a business card that said congratulations on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
Sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do... and then you need to delete the history so you're girlfriend doesn't see it.
Randomize
